Stay Positive

I don't know how i'm going to do all of this.
I want to give up.

Seedy Sunday

Life is getting hectic again and I have so much to do. Ugh. Crazy.

Friday morning I went to a personal training session with Kelly my ball of love and then on Friday night after the day from hell I went to dinner with my work girls, it was a nice night but I was exhausted so left pretty early.

Saturday morning I went to breakfast with Kelly my ball of love and our other friend. It was deliciously naughty. Then I did some general house stuff and went to a make up trial in Mandurah, the make up artist is amazing and I am so much happier with her then the first lady I had so I'm really thrilled about that.

Then on Saturday night I headed up to NB with some friends and got a little bit tragically boozy.
We had mexican for dinner and drank a lot of carafes full of alcohol, then trudged into the Brass Monkey and had a few more drinks.
I saw Gotye, Oh Gotye, I saw you side glance and me and yes I know, I know, I too want to punch my memory right in the face.
I played awesome basketball with Drew and we pretended to have moustaches, then after going to the Attic with everyone we head to Bar Open where I felt sooooooo happy. They played all punk rock and it was heaven. I was the happiest.
After that we were supposed to head somewhere else but we ended up going to a strip club and I lost my strip club virginity, it was interesting but a lot better than anything i'd ever freaked out about. After that I ran and caught the train home.

 Me kicking Drews bum in basketball… I actually lost by 3 points.

Alexi amazed by my pro basketball playing skills.

 Me at the Brass Monkey totally excited that their bathrooms look like toilets from Hogwarts, old and scaryyy.

 Drew and I with our moustaches.

 Me collecting feathers as I was so sad that I missed seeing the 2 tonnes fall from the sky. Stupid Feathers.

 Me and Alexis gf being cute.

 Pauly Paul and I drinking out of our american college party cups.

 Bar Open = Heaven.

 Huge fan keeping me cool in the sweatbox of bar open

 Dani and I with Punk rock type Cam from Modern Family. He was particularly sweaty.


Today I woke up feeling ok, I'm just shattered and so tired. I went to lunch with Harry Potter and we caught up and now i'm wanting to start packing up the house but it looks like a bomb hit it so it's easier to stay in bed.

I have still got to address all of the new envelopes and fix the invites but i'll be doing that this week and then I also have a lot of TAFE stuff to get into. Life over the next few months is going to be hectic.

sad face

Ugh, I have lost my motivation today.
I just feel sad, and not for any particular reason.
I think I'm just tired.

We move it our little love nest in a few weeks and hopefully that will be a bit of a pick me up, finally after our many years together of his house, my house, this house, that house, we will be in ourrrrr housey. I can't wait for it to be our home, to cherish and to create everlasting memories in.

Work is going well, I go to TAFE tomorrow for my introductory course which I'm excited and nervous for, I just keep trying to improve my confidence. I hope that when I lose a bit more weight and have been in my  role a month or so longer that I will be really focused and ready to take on any challenges.

I'm going to bed, i'm over this entry and i'm hungry. blah.

Date night

Today has been a pretty cruisey day for me, I woke up after a sleep in and did 100 sit ups and the quit with the exercise, then Tallboy and I went wedding ring shopping and I found my ring! It's sooo thin and had diamonds along the front of the band and it fits under my solitaire diamond well, I'm so happy, I love it so much and I just want to wear it now! Love it!
Then after that we went to his parents house for lunch, healthy chicken and salad. After that I dropped Tallboy off at his friends house and I did some healthy food shopping.
I came home and vegged out, I didn't do any of the packing or de-clutering I had planned, I sat on my bed, looking at shoes online and emailed Lovechild, I watched cooking shows and addressed a few wedding envelopes.

Then at 5.30 I picked up Tallboy and we went to dinner at outback jacks, I wasn't a fan. I got a salad in an edible bowl, I didn't like it, I had some of TB's steak but I didn't like that either. Then we went to the movies to see 'A few Best Men' I love how wedding movies are coming back in lately (Bridesmaids, a few best men, next will be 'the vow') anyway it's an english movie set in Australia, I really enjoyed it (I love british movies, brigitte jones, love actually, the one with the kid and hugh grant) it was quick whitted and it didn't try too hard, it was easy to watch and the guy that played Tom is highlarious, he reminds me of Ron Weasley (part ranga theory and just part, good acting, quick humour) So that was nice.

We've come home now and TB is playing playstation and I just wrote more envelopes and my hands are sore so I thought i'd blog.

I'm so ready for bed, what a nana!

So...

So, after my Negative Nancy day yesterday I  have managed to slightly pull my overweight self together to try and start again and carry on.

I started by eating healthy today, I had a sensible breakfast (Ham and tomato in a low calorie wrap) lunch was the same, I had a cup of tea and 2L of water. I had another wrap with vegemite for afternoon tea and dinner was 1/3 of a subway salad - the tune freaked me out royal. It went like this, bite 1: delicious, bite 2: om nom, bite 3: so tasty, bite 4: what the feckkkk??? ewwwww. Bite 4 tasted way too 'fishy' so that was it, no more dinner noms for me.

I also decided that my confidence has been way too shot lately, usually i'm pretty out there but the last few weeks I have regressed and it is majorly due to weight. So I got hair extensions put in, it's not much but having longer hair makes me feel much better.

Then when I got home I did a spray tan (well technically I bought a spray tan machine and now make Tallboy spraytan me) but this also helps me feel better.

I will be getting heavily into the gym again in the next few months, I haven't had a confidence issue like this before and when you have a job where you are required to know the facts and talk your employees in the eye you don't have time to hide in a shell.

Tomorrow I'm going to look at wedding band shopping and then I just want to relax but i'll have to re-address a whole pile of envelopes and start trying to pack up this house ready for the move to 'Coco's on Kumar' - I totes just named our house. Then tomorrow night Tallboy and I are dating.

Sunday I might be seeing Harry Potter, was originally for an icecream date but I don't want to cave so might have to reschedule.

Here are some more Engagement shots:

Our Engagement Shoot

Wakey Wakey!!!

The wake up call.
Everyone has them.
I think the first thick smack in the face happened tonight.

I got our engagement photos from December and they are beautiful, perfectly shot and I love them.
I hate me in them, I look like I am pregnant, I have cubby arms, the double chin shadow and a chubby belly. I'm horrified at how I have let myself go.

The photos are gorgeous and I made them into a slideshow with a beautiful song and it made me feel a bit better, but I am determined that the next time Jimmy shoots us on our wedding day I will have lost weight and I will have toned my horrible arms, stomach, chin and thighs.

Anyway that's my own fault and my own demon that I have to overcome and I shouldn't have left it so late. fml.

Jimmy is an excellent and talented photographer and everyone should check him out. www.izo.com.au

What a suprise

What a surprise.

I am absolutely exhausted again. 

This weekend I am doing absolutely nothing! 

Ok… I will do a few wedding things, but apart from that it's going to be a saturday and sunday full of napping. 

Today I worked pretty well, slowing getting there, I feel like my self esteem isn't good enough for meeting my candidates at the moment, I def feel that it would improve if I lost weight and if I were prettier but can't change my face so need to change my weight, anyway met a candidate, had my review, a lot of updating and changing files, I came home, did washing, cooked dinner, cleaned the bathroom, hung up washing and cleaned the dishes, got fuel, emailed and discussed fixing the wedding invites, paid deposit for decor and painted my nails a prostitute red. I'm supposed to straighten my hair now but stuff it, i'm going to bed. 

I will get back into blogging later, when i'm not such a nanna.