not myself

I'm not myself today.
Perhaps underlying stresses are getting to me, or maybe I do need that damned holiday.
I was finally feeling like I was finding my feet and my voice and getting to where I wanted to be. I wasn't bullshitting people and I wasn't being a fence sitter, I was saying at as it is and I finally liked that about myself even if other people didn't.
I am really disappointed with a few aspects at the moment and I hate how I romance past memories.
I look at things and remember the better times and I remember them without adding in the bad memories. It's like I don't want to believe how some people have turned out.

 If we go down we go down we go down together, best friends means, best friends mean. 


My memories keep emotionally blackmailing my mind. It's kind of tiring really. I need to know that all things happen for a reason and some people really aren't there for you and some people do let you down, and there is no doubt that i've probably done the same to others but I never, ever really thought that one particular person would truly be out of my life and due to our life paths, I am positive that there will not be an adjoining road.

I swear you have no idea.